Dear Fifa inspectors Welcome to the home of football! In what must be the highlight of your trip around the world to decide which country should be appointed host for the 2018 World Cup, you have arrived in England for a tour of our football venues. You have met Cleggy, the little substitute in Downing… Continue reading An open letter to Fifa’s inspectors
Read moreThere was once a very silly government minister who floated the idea that Britain’s public libraries should be privatised. It was in the days of Margaret Thatcher when such talk was fashionable. Even so, the idea was quickly laughed out of court. The minister’s political career was over. Modern-minded Tories do things differently. They consult.… Continue reading Hands off our public libraries
Read moreThe dawning of this new age of happy liberation from the state (or should that be “miserable betrayal by the state”?) has provided few greater surprises than the suggestion that the parish council, that whiskery old joke beloved of sitcoms like The Vicar of Dibley, will play an important part in the great revolution to… Continue reading Parish councils and a quiet revolution
Read moreNow that politicians vie with one another to prove the sweet ordinariness of their domestic lives, holidays have become competitive. Rather than do what they would like to do – sit by a billionaire’s swimming pool in the sun – political leaders are obliged to express heartfelt enthusiasm for something cheap, patriotic and home-based. “I… Continue reading Camping – the proper way to have a holiday
Read moreThumping his chest, a silverback of the London Zoo management has announced that, after the premature deaths of two male lowland gorillas, another is to be imported. “Without a doubt, seeing a gorilla will rank as one of the most breathtaking moments in a person’s life,” zoological director, David Field, has said. He is almost… Continue reading Gorillas have no place in captivity
Read moreAs from this week, the word “shame” is likely to be appearing with increased regularity in the national newspapers. The Premier League football season starts on Saturday, and the national team will be in action on Wednesday. Already the predictable shame-based, football-related stories are beginning to appear in the press. This weekend the England… Continue reading It’s not the players, it’s their followers
Read moreNow and then, about once a year, the stage of public life darkens as a leading player makes his entrance. Sir Jonathan Miller is about to make a pronouncement about the cultural state of the nation. The news is rarely good. This week he revealed that, in spite of being a director, he had not… Continue reading Beyond the whinge – a message to Sir Jonathan Miller
Read moreIt is the ultimate hippie nightmare. The Grateful Dead, a band which for 30 years represented the cause of love, peace and LSD, is about to provide marketing lessons for 2010. Their fans, who liked to be known as Deadheads, once offered a stoned, smiling defiance of that all-purpose authority figure of the straight world,… Continue reading Time to herald the wisdom of chickens
Read moreAnyone looking for a happy, escapist view of recession and unemployment should skip along to the Vaudeville Theatre in London where a revival of Neil Simon’s 1971 play The Prisoner of Second Avenue has just opened. The storyline may be wafer-thin but there are one or two quite good jokes in the play, and excellent… Continue reading The recesssion turns us into new people
Read moreA few days ago, I rang a friend whose recent emails had suggested that he was in low spirits. There had been health problems, a career disappointment. After a couple of minutes of small talk, he asked politely: “To what do I owe this pleasure?” Rather than admit that I was merely calling for a… Continue reading The limits of modern friendship
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